You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
