I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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