If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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