I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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