Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I skipped work to stalk him.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
