There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
