Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
