Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
