i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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