I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
