Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
