If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
