Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
True strength comes from lack of pants
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
