she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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