I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
