I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
