I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
