As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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