before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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