I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
