I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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