a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
