I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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