So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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