Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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