Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize