I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm really into asian looking animals
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
