I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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