She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
