how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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