Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
