It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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