the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
