There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
