i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
