I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
