she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
