I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
