and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
