He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hippo gnu deer
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
