Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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