Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
