I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
