you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
