capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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