One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
too bad you live with your parents still
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
