I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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