I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
