Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
