i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
