Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
