sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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