You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
