8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
