I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
