Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
