Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
