3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
