someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
