Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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