How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
