There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
